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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in maiamayhem's LiveJournal:

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Thursday, July 1st, 2010
1:37 pm
I suck
The most embarassing thing about failing is when you actually write about it and have to own up to it. Ugh! So...I failed on my Master Cleanse. i did it for a day, but without air coditioning, I felt tired, hot, weak, irritable and just not ready for the commitment. What makes it worse, too, is that I am on summer vacation so I dont have anything to do except lay around and think about how hungry I am. It's like "Hey Maia, you had a really busy year! Why don't you just work out a lot and just eat better?". Well, I listened. And I am. I have been really down lately. Really, really down. I don't really have anything to do and things in my personal life are difficult. Not impossible, just difficult. I am hoping and praying things get better. I want a STABLE life with less stress and more happiness. I guess I need to start focusing my energies on making this happening, or at least visualizing it so it can become a relaity. Someone told me meditation is like the energy I put forth towards worrying, but changing the thought process to poisitive things. That really hit home. I have been a negative person full of anxiety and worry for so many years. it is hard for me to think this way. I think my father, who was the biggest worry wart and was so full of nervous energy, rubbed off on me. It makes for a difficult life. Exercise really does wonders for me, so I am headed off to the gym to do some elliptical and running. I know it will boost my spirits. A good sweat is always good. Here is my first positive thought of the day (I am going to try and do one every time I write in my journal): Everything is going to be ok. No matter what life challenges come my way, I am equipped and ready to take them on. Everything will work out in the end. They always do.

Have a nice day.

Current Mood: pensive
Tuesday, June 29th, 2010
5:26 pm
Day One Complete (well, pretty much)
Ok, everyone. Here I am. I finished the first full day of the Master Cleanse. I know it is only 5:17pm, but I usually never eat after dinnertime anyway, so I will go ahead and call this a successful day.

I made the lemonade with agave nectar instead of the Grade B maple syrup which I like a LOT better. It tastes like regular lemonade, well apart from the cayenne pepper part. The Salt Water flush this morning had mee peeing out of my butt for hours, but call me a weirdo, i enjoyed getting everything out. You feel lighter, and it feels like you are starting to get all of that blocked up poo poo out of your body. Having done this same time last year, I can attest that the human body contains a hell of a lot more poo than you can ever imagine. Just when you think it's done...oh boooooy!

My friend Teri was going to do this with me, but she gave up the 1st day at lunch time (pussy!). LOL. I am happy to report 4 pounds of gunk have come out of me today and it is only DAY ONE! Last time, Day One was really easy. its the next few days that are really trying. Therefore, I am going to do some projects. The first being the cleaning of my office. It is stocked floor to ceiling with boxes from our move, and I want to be able to have a work space for the continuation of my Master's degree and next year at work. The most beautiful part of this project is that once we get all of that crap done, we will have everything organized which Mykel and I have never been able to do because of our crazy lives and lack of time. So, thats a great project to take up my time. Today I cleaned the carpets and did some light cleaning. I was really tired and did not have that much energy, but I know thats normal so its ok. On the plus side, I have a lot of books I want to read so I will be happy to do that.

So, onto Day Two tomorrow. I am going to take the dogs to the park and let them run around in a little while once it cools off. Our house is so hot!!!

Current Mood: accomplished
Monday, June 28th, 2010
11:49 pm
Master Cleanse #2
So, here I am. I did the Master Cleanse this time last year for 7 days. I must say I did lose a lot of weight which was awesome, but it was sooooo hard. I caved in on one of the days and "chew-spit". This consists of chewing food and spitting it out before you swallow it. I just missed the taste of food so much that I had to do it. I will not be doing it this time. The good news is that I have kept the weight off give or take a few pounds. I have been eating really bad lately, and feeling very tired and bloated from my poor choices so I felt I should do it again. I am supposed to go to San Diego the 12th to the 19th, and I want to look really good.

I am intent on making it for 10 full days. Whoa! That is a LONG time. But I know I can do it. So, tonight I just had my chocolate Smooth Move tea which I can already feel. I rushed to the bathroom ready for something intense to happen, but it was rather uneventful. My abdomen is cramping up, though. I have cramps of the other variety as well, so these 10 days are going to be quite a challenge. Yikes, but a couple of days and the bloating will go down and I will feel lighter, which I need. You know your body is in bad shape when you feel that way. I think a good dose of cleaning your insides is really important.

So, expect some bitchiness and snide remarks to come this week. So, what ese is new, right? haha! I'll write every day.
Thursday, June 25th, 2009
6:36 pm
Day 4
I'm so hungry I want to cry. :( It's sad. Its so very sad. I WANT SOME DAMN FOOD! HELP MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

OK, so that was overly dramatic. But this is so hard. It's almost impossible because my body is telling me that I need food. My stomach growls and churns all day long, and that stupid lemonade is not helping. I guess it is curbing my appetite a tiny bit, but not having anything at all is really difficult. Plus, eating is such a social thing that you miss it once it is gone. When you are hanging out at home, it is so hard to not cook dinner, or eat together with your mate. Ugh. Today's craving has been for cheese omelets, fried chicken, and club sandwiches. Any anything else that is edible. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. This is so hard! I want to murder someone.

Myke won't let me cheat. I'm not trying very hard anyway, but he is being a good support. I'm going to try and get over tonight. I hope tomorrow is better.

I must have been crazy to do this. LOL.
Wednesday, June 24th, 2009
6:09 pm
Day Three
Yep, today is hard! I woke up feeling completely drained of all energies. The scale says a total loss of 7 pounds so far though. Thats some good incentive.
:)

I'm really weak today, and have had a mild headache throughout the course of the day, and I am STARVING to death. I have been dreaming of Bostom Market creamed spinach, and begged Myke to go get me some, but he wouldn't, and I didn't press him that much because I really want to do this, no matter how hard it is.

I try thinking of foods I don't want to eat, such as raw tomatoes, beets, and other icky foods, but my mind ends up going back to the foods I love. I fantasize about pizza, spaghetti, tacos....sigh, I need to stop, or I'll chew my hand off. hehe

I heard today was the hardest for food cravings, and I'm almost done with it. Tomorrow should be the day I begin the real detoxing, so it should be fun...

Until tomorrow. Staying strong!
6:05 pm
Day 2
OK, Day One went off pretty well. I thought this was going to be easy, besides the incessant trips to the bathroom. Stupid tea! But Day Two involved a very traumatic event, which, thank goodness, turned out well.

Anyhoo, the lemonade was harder to get down today. I am only on day 2, but I got damn sick of it that it was almost painful to get down. Commercial after commercial of food came and went today. (even Pizza Hut looked delicious)

BUT, I have lost 5 pounds so far. Yeah, 2 days and 5 pounds. So, I will keep on keeping on...
Monday, June 22nd, 2009
8:47 pm
Day One
Well, today was not as bad as I would have thought, although, from what I have read and heard about, the real "fun" begins on Day 3 or 4. Anyway, the laxative tea kept me up until 6 am. I took it again today, and had mild abdominal pains. I think I am going to stay away from the tea tonight, as I have something very important to do tomorrow in the early am, and need a lot of sleep.

The lemonade is surprisingly good. I enjoyed it and was able to watch Mykel eat 2 meals in front of me, and not rip his head off. Hehe, anyway, I have a very early day tomorrow, so I need to go to bed soon.

Current Mood: sleepy
Sunday, June 21st, 2009
10:18 pm
Master Cleanse starts tomorrow!!!
OK, tomorrow I start the Lemonade Cleanse. I really, really, really want to make it through the whole 10 days, so I thought that if I wrote every day about how I'm doing, and what I am going through that I would be more willing to complete it. I'm going to be brutally honest here, so here goes:

I'm a fat ass. You know what? When you hit your late 20s, your metabolism slows down, and when you have a stressful couple of years, with lots of drama occuring, sometimes you don't make the best food decisions. So here is to me getting the toxins out of my system and starting fresh. I've been working out for months on a regular basis, but I think the accumulation of copious toxins is preventing me from losing weight. Shit happens, you know. Nice pun, right? Especially if you know all about the cleanse and what happens to you during. Har har.

I took the nice laxative tea tonight to get the "ball rolling" per se...the abdominal cramps have commenced...hehe. Stage One has begun...I start the lemonade tomorrow after another steaming cup of poop tea.

I hope I'm not up all night. More tomorrow.

Current Mood: full
Friday, December 12th, 2008
12:30 pm
top movies for me...10
1. Dangerous Liaisons
2. Being John Malkovich
3. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
4. Old Boy
5. Shawshank Redemption
6. Pink Flamingos
7. Pulp Fiction
8. Dead Man
9. The Umbrellas of Charbourg
10. Amelie

boring, but ehhhh....deal with it

One movie to see that was so far better than I expected: Be Kind Rewind...beautiful film.

Current Mood: loved
Monday, October 27th, 2008
6:09 pm
from Tom Murphy
so reverse survey time!

01) Are you currently in a serious relationship? ummmmmm

02) What was your dream growing up? own some warehouse in New York City and paint...um, yeah

03) What talent do you wish you had?
to be an incredible drawer

04) If I bought you a drink what would it be? A PSL, baby!

05) Favorite vegetable? asparagus

06) What was the last book you read? Keep the Aspidistra Flying by Orwell

07) What zodiac sign are you? Virgo and Scorpio rising

08) Any Tattoos and/or Piercings? Explain where. yup...a heart inscribed 'Mommy' on my ass

09) Worst Habit?
self-deprication

10) If you saw me walking down the street would you offer me a ride? Of course! And I'd say 'Let's go get a PSL'!!!

11) What is your favorite sport?
I LOVE football. So, so so much. I eat, live and breathe football. Go Broncos! (I just puked)

12) Do you have a Pessimistic or Optimistic attitude?
depends on the day...I try to be optimistic

13) What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me?
probably talk about bands and life

14) Worst thing to ever happen to you?
1 of my relationships...wont tell you which one though!

15) Tell me one weird fact about you.
I was an altar girl when I was little...yup, it's true

16) Do you have any pets?
2 dogs and an adopted cat

17) What if I showed up at your house unexpectedly?
I would be shocked, but happy to see you.

18) What was your first impression of me?
How does this guy know so much about my band (The Bedraggled)?

19) Do you think clowns are cute or scary?
scary. period.

20) If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be?
losing weight...working on it though

21) Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?
crime partner!!! hehe

22) What color eyes do you have?
brown

23) Ever been arrested?
no, never

24) Bottle or can soda?
never drink soda

25) If you won $10,000 today, what would you do with it?
pay off my car...actually, no, I would plan an amazing European vacation for my b/f and I

26) Favorite band to listen to when you're mad?
The Smiths

27) What's your favorite place to hang out at?
home. I am boring, and now that I am pregnant, I have to be. kidding!!!

28) Do you believe in ghosts?
yes, yes I do

29) Favorite thing to do in your spare time?
read, watch movies, play music...plan for my new band including members of Grease Machine and The Hush...sooooooooooo excited!!!!

30) Do you swear a lot?
yeah

31) Biggest pet peeve?
tardiness

32) In one word, how would you describe yourself?
complicated

33) Do you believe/appreciate romance?
oh, yeah! I love being in love. I am a sucker for romance.

34) Favourite and least favourite food?
favorite-Indian or sushi
least favorite-tomatoes

35) Do you believe in God?
Yes, but I dont really believe in most organized religions.

36) Will you repost this so I can fill it out and do the same for you?
Sure!

Current Mood: happy
Saturday, August 23rd, 2008
8:43 pm
it's been a while...
Wow. Life is nuts. In case you did not already know, I bought a business, The Tiki Torch. We got slammed beyond belief last night, and the cooks were not able to keep up on the food. People were waiting a very long time. Some people walked out. It sucked, but they were mostly Bronco idiots so I dont really care. I know I should, but you know what? I dont have time to worry about that stuff. We are going to have nights where we are a little off. We are a brand new business, and we are going to make a plethora of mistakes. I guess we had a decent little dinner rush today, so I hope people will forgive us. I had to comp a complete meal last night because this guy was being an asshole. I hate people, but my dream would be to sell the place to someone for 2 times what we owe on it. I must be completely insane to be doing all of this right now. My job is very, very demanding, and the restaurant is incredibly stressful, but lucky for me, I am able to not be there all the time. We have openers and closers. Our cooks are sweet kids. Kinda young, but good workers with amazing attitudes. I really like them. There is only 1 person who works for us that I dont really like. She fell down at work today. I am expecting her to sue us. haha...

I have an amazing business partner, Mykel Martinez. He knows how demanding my job is and he has been opening and closing most days. I can't begin to list the qualities of that guy. He is really, really cool. My mom met him when she was here. I think she has a crush on him. hehe...she does have a thing for Mexicans.

My mom and I had a nice visit. I am really sleepy...I will finish this later.

Current Mood: tired
Saturday, May 17th, 2008
9:48 pm
another f&%king survey (from Mista Murphy)
1) Are you currently in a serious relationship?
Are you?

2) What was your dream growing up?
living in a large apartment in New York city as a painter

3) What talent do you wish you had?
drawing

4) If I bought you a drink what would it be?
Salty Dawg

5) Favorite vegetable?
asparagus, yum!

6) What was the last book you read?
I am reading 'Under the Banner of Heaven' right now...

7) What zodiac sign are you?
Virgo with Scorpio rising

8) Any Tattoos and/or Piercings? Explain where.
one full sleeve (currently unfinished), one half sleeve, one on neck

9) Worst Habit?
eating my own shit

10) If you saw me walking down the street, would you offer me a ride?
Tom? But of course!!!

11) What is your favorite sport?
sexercise...Sex Olympics! Boy, would I win a gold metal there...har har

12) Do you have a pessimistic or optimistic attitude?
depends on the day

13) What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me?
lament over the loff of our beloved seasonal PSL, and dream of the day when it comes back to us...and talk about the silly stuff we experienced at Protohell

14) Worst thing to ever happen to you?
I could have done without all the heartbreak in my life. I am so bitter about relationships ending that I didn't even feel the last one too much, and I am sorry for that.

15) Tell me one weird fact about you.
I was born with a vagina and a penis

16) Do you have any pets?
2 dawgs

17) What if I showed up at your house unexpectedly?
I would invite you in for a nice chat

18) What was your first impression of me?
"How does this guy know who my band is?" (The Bedraggled)

19) Do you think clowns are cute or scary?
disgusting vile creatures

20) If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be?
huge knockers...

21) Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?
hmmmmmmmmmm, probably crime partner

22) What color eyes do you have?
hazel...my color is changing

23) Ever been arrested?
Never

24) White or red wine?
white? Riesling
red? Merlot

25) If you won $10,000 today, what would you do with it?
I would quit my job and live on it until I got restaurant running

27) What's your favorite place to hang at?
I like dark, seedy places

28) Do you believe in ghosts?
Yes, I do.

29) Favorite thing to do in your spare time?
If I had spare time...write, watch films, paint, sex, make plans for my current business, think up other business ideas, hang out with my best friend, plan vacations,

30) Do you swear a lot?
oh fuck yeah

31) Biggest pet peeve?
tardiness

32) In one word, how would you describe yourself?
ambitious

33) Do you believe/appreciate romance?
Yes, I do, and yes I do!

35) Do you believe in God?
Yes I do

36) Will you repost this so I can fill it out and do the same for you?
mmkay

Current Mood: sleepy
Thursday, May 15th, 2008
5:17 pm
from Tom
1) Do you like blue cheese?
yes, yes, yes!

2) Have you ever smoked heroin?
not that I can recall...

3) Do you own guns?
No, but people say I'm a pistol! har har har

4) What flavor do you add to your drink at sonic?
I never go there.

5) Do you get nervous before doctor appointments?
If I know I am getting blood drawn.

6) What do you think of hot dogs?
I like Morningstar veggie ones

7) Favorite Christmas song?
ick

8) What do you prefer to drink in the morning?
some coffee drink of sorts

9) Can you do push ups?
yes

10) Can you do a chin up?
I don't know.

11) What's your favorite piece of jewelry?
Oh, everyone knows how into the "bling bling" I am.

12) Favorite hobby?
lately, writing...oh, and taking over the world

13) Ever been in a car wreck?
Oh, yeah, a few

14) Do you have A.D.D.?
What were you asking? Man, oh man...I am hilarious!

15) What's one trait that you hate about yourself?
physical or otherwise? A lot.

16) Middle name?
Maia

17) Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment?
missing someone, sex (that's usually a given, I am a perv), and thinking of going to gym soon

18) Name 3 things you bought yesterday?
coffee, beef jerky, chocolate milk...really healthy, huh?

19) Name 3 drinks you regularly drink?
water, coffee, moonshine

20) Current worry?
what if I don't get the liquor license?

21) Current hate right now?
I hate worrying about getting my liquour license

23) How did you bring in the New Year?
hanging out with Jen, Mark Wells, Jeni, Myke, Shane, and others...

24) Where would you like to go?
Prague

25) Name three people who will complete this?
I dunno

26) Do you own slippers?
I do not

27) What shirt are you wearing?
black long sleeve work shirt

28) Do you like sleeping on satin sheets?
only with my pearl necklace

29) Can you whistle?
pretty well, actually

30) Favorite color?
brown

31) Would you be a pirate?
Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh, yes sirree, willickers, I'd be mee own pirate, laddies. (I'm an idiot)

32) What songs do you sing in the shower?
songs about showering

33) Favorite girl's name?
Adrienne or Michaela

34) Favorite boy's name?
Hieronymous

35) What's in your pockets?
don't have pockets

36) Last thing that made you laugh?
that Tina Fey chick on tv

37) Best bed sheets as a child?
the ones I pissed in...my urine made them very personal to me.

38) Worst injury you've ever had?
a broken heart.

39) Do you love where you live?
It's ok. There are parts of it I love. Buying a business has helped.

40) How many TVs do you have in your house?
2

42) How many dogs do you have?
2

43) Does someone have a crush on you?
yes

45) What is your favorite book?
here are a couple: Of Human Bondage, A confederacy of Dunces, Love in the time of Cholera, Down and Out in Paris and London

46) What is your favorite candy?
Nerds

47) Favorite Sports Team?
I hate sports!

48) What song do you want played at your funeral?
some really upbeat disco ditty

49) What were you doing 12 AM last night?
snuggled up in bed

50) What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up?
sex, sex, sex...

Current Mood: productive
Saturday, May 10th, 2008
4:23 pm
from Tom...
1) If you got married to your significant other what would your last name be?
Hmmmmmmm....

2) What did you do this afternoon?
ate a hamburger at City Grille (yum!)and bought 2 books at Tattered Cover

3) When do you plan on having kids or your next kid?
I don't know if I should bring the devil's spawn into this world quite yet.

4) Do you know a secret about your last ex that would embarrass them?
Sure, but who doesn't have embarassing secrets?

5) Can you take a bra off with one hand?
I should hope so. I have been wearing them for 15 years

6) Can you use chopsticks?
Yes I can

7) How old were you when you lost your first tooth?
I can't remember that far back.

8) Were you a hyper or mellow kid?
Mdellow unless I got into some sugar.

9) Why did you throw up last?
It's been quite a while since I threw up, and the last time was from the flu.

10) Last time you were drunk?
I'm still wasted, man...

11) What's for dinner?
cereal

12) Ever been to the Statue of Liberty?
I have see it, but have not gotten up close

13) Voting for Hillary?
I really think and hope it will be Obama, but if it is her, I will vote for her.

14) How many e-mail addresses do you have?
4

15) Do you HAVE to have brand name stuff?
No.

16) Last time you washed your hair?
day before yesterday

17) Who will you be sleeping with tonight?
none of your fucking business!!!

18) Do you like Oreos?
Oh yeah...

19) Do you send out Thank-You cards?
I dont think I have.

20) Can you ice skate?
No, and don't care

21) Do you have a brother?
2 half brothers

23) Do you flip people off while driving?
No, but the words I utter are worse.

24) What color is your car?
silver

25) Would you take a bullet for anyone?
a couple of people, I think. Actually, only one.

26) Do you keep a planner?
I do, but I dont write in it.

27) Who's your favorite American Idol judge?
I like that British asshole...he makes people cry, and I like that.

28) Do you like to grocery shop?
I actually love it. I would much rather do that than any other kind of shopping with the exception of record and book shopping.

29) What kind of mood are you in?
Pretty good. A little sleepy.

30) Last time you cleaned?
cleaned what? my ass? 2 weeks ago...

31) Did you get an Easter basket?
I did, actually. It was very sweet.

32) What pills do you take daily?
none...sometimes Omega 3's

33) Are you in anyone's wedding this year?
Hell no.

34) Do you do your own laundry?
I should certainly hope so.

35) Do you go tanning?
hahahahahahahahahaha...have you seen my pale skin?

37) Bubble baths or showers?
bubble baths!

40) What's the best part about being single?
Hmmmmmm...I guess the freedom of not answering to someone and being able to do whatever it is you wish. But if you are with the right person, than you should be able to do that anyway.

41) Paper or plastic?
yawn

42) Do you watch "The Hills"?
What is the Hills?

43) Last CD you played?
cd? I think it iwas Interpol

44) What did you do last Saturday night?
worked and did a hell of a lot of feckin'...hehe

45) What do you order from In and Out Burger?
yawn

46) Which one of your friends is going to have the cutest baby?
me...I will have the cutest baby...I don't know...anyone of my friends who aren't white. I love ethnic babies.

48) Wearing any bracelets?
just my studded leather one I bought at Hot Topic, yo.

49) Last thing someone bought for you?
lunch today

50) What are you going to do today?
relax and read my new book(s)...then maybe go see Kingdom of Magic at Bar Bar, or have a quiet cozy evening of movies.

Current Mood: happy
Friday, April 11th, 2008
8:57 am
goals...and such...
Recent news:

1. I broke up with Shane. Some people are shocked. Others are not. It came down to his alcoholism. I felt like I was living with a 23 year old...oh, wait, I was. He is a great kid...the operative word here being "kid"...very mature in many ways, but still in the "I want to drink every night and do drugs" mode. When I work every day as a site coordinator for a high school, I need my sleep and can't deal with late night parties. I couldn't handle the smells of a drunk coming into bed every night, a couple of hours before I had to wake up for work. His friends would be crashed out all over my house. I was starting to hate him, and I needed to end it. Once again, Shane is a wonderful guy and he was a really sweet boyfriend, but we are just at two different places in our lives, and my nagging at him to get where I was career wise was a fruitless labor. It is best for the both of us.

2. I bought a restaurant. I am not going to go too much into this one. Don't worry. You will all know more, but it is in the Sloan's Lake area, and my ultimate goal will be to build a bar in there, which I will. I am now a school director AND a business owner. If The Absolute Zero takes off like I think we really can, I will have accomplished all 3 of my professional goals. Wooeee!

3. The Absolute Zero commences recording next week. We had a show at the Hi Dive that got cancelled. I was pretty bummed out. We don't have any shows ligned up in the near future, but Baxter is working on it. Playing with Michael, Suzi, and Greg is amazing. I love it. Everyone is so talented, and Greg's stories are so funny. Ask him about how he feels about Bob Dylan some time. It is fucking hilarious.

4. I am now living alone. I LOVE IT! Why I ever got roommates is a mystery to me. I know it is economically advantageous, but SO not worth it. I am a very shy and private person, and I do not enjoy sharing my living space with someone. I loved many parts of living with Shane, but the other roommate was the laziest human being I have ever met, and she never cleaned or got up before 5 pm, so it was kind of hard to deal with. I am a really hard worker. I ALWAYS need to be busy, because of my mind and the negativity that creeps in in idle times, so when I watch people be lazy slugs, I get angry. How anyone can work 3 nights a week for 5 hours at a time, and still feel like they are a successful human being gets to me. I work 60 hours a week, and will be working a lot more with my business, so I tend to judge others' laziness. Maybe I need to ease up on that one.

5. I am starting graduate school next Spring. It is a program for a Masters in Education in Curriculum and Instruction. I have written curriculum at my present job, and I really enjoyed it. Plus, it is a job where I could work from home, and make 50-70k. I make almost 50k now, but I love being in school, and why not add to my debt...mmmhmmmmm! hehe. Seriosly, though, I love being in school, and this program can be accomplished in a year. I think I am going to go all the way and get my Ph.D. Why the hell not?

6. I have started painting and drawing again. I think a break up does that to me. When my first love broke my heart, I did a series of self portraits to chronicle my stages of sadness. As devastated as I was, art and music has always helped me. It is helping me now, and it is beautiful. I want to go to Meininger's after work today so I can pick up some smaller brushes...the painting I am working on now has a lot if very thin lines, and what I am working with now just ain't cuttin' it, bud. I have an idea for a new painting that involves Catholicism and metal hooks. I think I am going to start it tonight...

I am sure it sounds like I am taking on too much (as my mother has said), but I feel really good. Of course I am sad, but getting out of my relationship let me see all the things I have NOT been doing in my life that I know I want to do and will do. So, that is that. I need to work on report cards now.

Current Mood: busy
Saturday, March 29th, 2008
12:57 pm
from Tom...
1. If your being extremely quiet whats it mean?
I'm shy, and I don't know you...

2. If someone hit you, what would you do?
get horny

3. Do you still have feelings for a ex?
Shouldn't the proper sentence end with "an" ex instead of "a" ex?

4. Have you ever had a threesome?
Daily.

5. If so would you again? and if not, would you?
Man, they are so routine for me these days...(yawn...)

6. Last time you laughed?
I try not to. Life is a very serious thing, and laughter, my friends, is a sign of weakness.

7. Has anyone told you they missed you lately?
No.

8. Are you wearing any clothes that dont belong to you?
No.

9. Would you ever date your best friend (of the opposite sex)?
Um...I can't think of who my best friend of the opposite sex is...oh wait, I do. No, no, no, no!

10. Have you ever received sexy pics from someone?
Just the ones I send myself...of myself.

11. Do you regret anything from your past?
Yes, I do, but I learned from it.

12. If you could seek revenge on someone would you?
"Revenge is a waste of time indulged by the unevolved."-Tom Murphy

13. How do you react when people cry around you?
lots and lots of laughter

14. Do you bump into someones arm if you want to hold their hand?
What a ridiculous question...yes, and i bump into their crotch when I want to f...

15. Last argument?
with myself...been a loner lately.

16. Last Kiss?
ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...

17. Would you kiss them again?
uhhhhhhhhhhh...

18. Are you jealous of this person?
Nope.

19. Would you ever strip for money?
Absolutely not...but I would have sex for money...figure that one out

20. Do you have a crush on someone?
not a crush...

21. Do you know how to belly dance?
No.

22. Are you in college?
Not anymore, but maybe again soon for my master's

23. What are you listening to?
CNN and the Mexican children next door screaming their heads off.

24. Last Beverage?
Arnold Palmer

25. Last nap?
yesterday

26. Do you own a planner?
I do, but I don't use it as much as I should

27. Favorite month?
September

28. Would your parents be mad if you got someone pregnant?
Yes, my parents warn me not to spread my seed.

29. Would your parents be mad if you were in a inter-racial relationship?
No, they would not.

30. Would they be mad if you were gay/lesbian?
My mom has always thought I was a lesbian.

31. What are you doing Saturday?
taxes

32. Sweetest thing anyone has ever done for you?
created an obstacle course that led me to my scooter. I will always remember it because it was so creative.

34. Kiss on the first date?
yes.

35. Are you a slut/man whore?
Oh yeah, I am a filthy slut...ask anyone.

36. Fav colors?
brown and black

37. Are you racist?
Of course!

38. Excited for anything?
my life...it's so fucking exciting!

39. Ever had sex with two different people in ONE day?
Ewwwwwwww....

40. Would you ever steal someones boyfriend or girlfriend?
I like French fries.

42. Last time you were confused?
What?

43. Last time you smiled?
this morning.

44. If you could cuddle with anything right now what would you pick?
my dogs

45. Have you ever done something behind your best friends back?
This question is stupid. If it entails something negative, then no.

46. Will you ever?
stupid!

47. Rent a movie or go to movies?
I love going to the movies...and making out with the person I am with.

48. Been to mexico?
Si!

49. Own a gun?
No, but I want one.

50. Happy with life?
Sure.

Current Mood: amused
Sunday, March 16th, 2008
2:05 pm
from tom...
How old were you when you.....

1. Fell in love, real love- 17

2. Got a myspace account - I dont remember

3. French kissed - 14, I think...

4. Went to the hospital for surgery - never...hope I never have to

5. Got your heart broken badly - 19

6. Got arrested - never

7. Broken a bone - never

8. Went to a concert - I think I saw R.E.M. when I was 15 or 16

9. Got your own cell phone - 24

10. Got a speeding ticket - never

11. Ran away - never...man I am boring!

12. Snuck out of the house - see above

13. Pierced other than your ears - ok, now we're talking...tongue at 17...eyebrow, nipple, lip, etc...not into that anymore, though

14. Got a tattoo - 18

15. Totaled a car - 16

16. Moved out of your parents house - 17

17. How old are you now?- 28.

18. Had a kid - Not yet.

Current Mood: tired
Wednesday, January 30th, 2008
8:00 pm
from Tom on a snowy evening...
1. Did you date someone from your school?
Yes, he was 3 years older than me, and my one and only relationship in high school lasted about 2 weeks.

2. Did you win anything in Senior's 'Who's Who'?
3: Most Artistic, Biggest Mooch, and Worst Driver. LOL.

3. What kind of car did you drive?
gold 1983 Renault Encore...jealous?

4. It's Friday night...where are you?
probably out with my friends doing very bad things.

5. Were you a party animal?
I went to parties, but pretty much hated everyone I went to high school with.

6. Were you considered a flirt?
I suppose, but I never had a real boyfriend. Guys later told me they were intimidated by me, but I don't buy it. I was a nerd.

7. Were you in band, orchestra, or choir?
All 3.

8. Were you a nerd?
See #6 and #7

9. Did you get suspended/expelled?
Sure, both. I got into trouble for mouthing off to idiot teachers, and there were many.

10. Can you sing the fight song?
Oh, God. I guess I can... given I was in band.

11. Who were your favorite teachers?
Mr. Arendas for Calculus and Advanced Calculus. My art teacher Mr. Jones.

12. Where did you sit during lunch?
with my friends

13.What was your school's full name?
Clarion Area High School

14. School mascot?
Bobcats

15. Were you on homecoming court?
Of course not!

16. If you could go back and do it again, would you?
HELL NO!

17. What do you remember most about graduation?
Not much.

18. Where did you go senior skip day?
I have no idea.

20.Were you in any clubs?
Art History Club and Math Club...oh yeah, baby!

25. Who was your Senior prom date?
Aaron Lewis...we never danced, and he wouldn't take a picture with me. I also think he was doing cocaine in the bathroom the entire time.

26. Are you planning on going to your 10 year reunion?
My 10th was this year, and I did not go.

27. Who was your home room teacher?
Mrs. Reed...she hated me because I wouldn't stand up for the pledge of allegiance

28.Who will repost this?
Noone

29. Do you still talk to people from high school?
My best friend from high school, Jessi, and a girl who went to our neighbor school.

THINK BACK TO 9TH GRADE...

- Who was your best friend?
Jessi Ellwood

- What sport did you play?
none

- Did you buy your lunch?
I did.

- What was your favorite class?
Art...always

-Did you go to the dances?
No, I don't think we had any.

- Who was your Science teacher?
Mr. Arth. He was actually a cool guy.

-Who was your English teacher?
Miss Miller. She was awful. I wrote a great paper on Faulkner, and she gave me a "D". I don't think she knew who Faulkner was.

- Who was your History teacher?
Mr. Eyrich

-Where you a Bully or the one getting Bullied?
In 9th grade, I was bullied, but after that, I was the one bullying. I more than made up for it. I think people were scared of me.

- Who was your Math teacher?
Mr. Lewis from Boston

-Did you think you were cool?
No, I certainly did not. I wanted so desperately to fit in. It took a while.

- Did you wear make up
Yes.

-Describe your outfits
a little Goth, a little vintage

- Did you even have a cellphone?
Cellphones were not around.

What was the best thing about 9th grade?
Finding my best friend Jessi. We were best buds all through high school.

- Do you miss it?
I miss no responsibility, and some friends, but not really. I would redo my college years, but high school was hard, and I would never want to live in that town again.
Friday, January 25th, 2008
10:46 pm
oddities
So, here are some weird things that have happened/are happening:

1. I am attempting to buy a house...how very domestic of me.
2. I have successfully lived with a man for one year. And we still like each other...
3. I have accepted that I don't like my parents.
4. Heath Ledger dies, and I, for some reason, am very saddened by it.
5.I have started a very rigorous workout regime...this includes the cessation (for now) of carcinogens (those being cigarettes, and not The WEED...hehe) and alcohol for the most part.
6. I am thinking of very "adult" things to do lately such as having my teeth whitened, investing in stocks, learning another language, and reading memoirs.
7. I took my tattoos to the wrist...yeah, not so "adult".
8. Strange words have entered my vocabulary lately such as "equity", "mortgage". "tenure", "contracts"...
9. I have an addiction to Starbucks...corporate fucks
10. I sing songs about hamburgers.
11. I go to bed early, and get up before the alarm (7am)
12. I am thinking of joining my work's soccer team...it's allowed, soccer is European, therefore, it is not an obnoxious sport like football, which bores me to no end. Plus, I would get to wear awesome knee socks!
13. I get along with co-workers, and have been told by bosses and people under me how much they enjoy working with me.
14. I have a genuine love of my job.
15. I am dating a YOUNGER guy with LONG HAIR who likes METAL, but is the sweetest man I have ever met, and loves me for who I am as a person...even during the mood swings and arbitrary madness.
16. I am in a healthy relationship.
17. I am staying home on a Friday night to work on report cards.
18. I have finally grown the fuck up.
19. When I see recent pictures of myself, I see this weird thing in my eyes I have never really seen before...genuine happiness

This is scary.

Current Mood: hopeful
Thursday, January 24th, 2008
4:23 pm
from Tom...
Who You Should Vote For

John Edwards: 81%
Barack Obama: 69%
Hillary Clinton: 56%
Ron Paul: 38%
John McCain: 31%
Rudy Giuliani: 31%
Mike Huckabee: 19%
Mitt Romney: 6%


Who you agree with on the war in Iraq: John Edwards and Ron Paul

Who you agree with on the economy: Rudy Giuliani, Mike Huckabee, John McCain and Ron Paul

Who you agree with on health care: Hillary Clinton and John Edwards

Who you agree with on taxes: Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, and John Edwards

Who you agree with on abortion: Hillary Clinton, John Edwards, Barack Obama, and Rudy Giuliani

Who you agree with on gay rights: Hillary Clinton, John Edwards, Rudy Giuliani, and Barack Obama
[ << Previous 20 ]
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